2014 nears an end and December is just minutes away as I type this post. It’s been a rough month with plenty of ups and downs with an emphasis of cluster fucks and disparity. The snow fell this past week and it seriously sucked, only for a cold snap to follow with frozen roads and sidewalks, further setting back my hunger to ride.
I resurrected my old PowerMac G4 the other day to do a back up of some old photos I had stored onto the darn thing. I managed to save them all and had them uploaded to my PC. Taking the time to carefully go through them all, they sure brought back a lot of memories, stemming as far back as my high school days in grade 12 and my collage years.
All these photos were a flashback of all the random stupidity I had partaken and offered a glimpse of how my decisions and actions have influenced the outcome of who I am today. Moreso, these photos reminded me of the people who have come and gone in my life and also a reminded of those who mattered then, now, and perhaps later in the future. In order for us to grow, we sometimes need to let go of the past no matter how painful it can be.
Here’s a flashback from my earlier days on Revscene.net. I managed to capture this screenshoot back when fuzebox was an administrator and had installed this skin as a gag to poke fun of Gloria (cbcgurl82.) A lot of the youngsters won’t remember this nor get the joke so it really is of no concern to them.
Finally, after a long summer, I decided it was time to get my posters framed. I got one of a classic Masi steel framed bike with the text “The Italians Are Coming from veloposters.com and the one Jonathan got me from Deus Customs in Venice. I went to see Audrey Nishi at Master Framers on Main to get the job done. It was a very fun experience going through the framing process with Audrey and I had learned a lot in the process. From the imperfections of the silk screening process, the half embossing, to the unique and distinct markings of what I had presented to her. If you have any posters or nick-nacks you want framed, I would suggest you see Audrey. Her prices aren’t cheap but she does amazing work. Super nice and friendly and now I’ve got a story to back these posters up!
And to boot, there’s a video of the Luftgekühlt event! Song in the video is by Alt-J – Left Hand Free
As the famous Magnus Walker boldly claims – “It doesn’t matter if you speak English, German, or Japanese. We all share the same passion for the car.” People coming from all walks of life, races, backgrounds, and circumstances. It’s the Porsche, the history, the motorcycles, and the culture that brings them together. That’s what I love so much about Deus and Porsche. You’ve got it all and everyone is just cool about it. You don’t have to be rich to own a Porsche. You just have to be smart.
- As A Matter Of Fact
There’s something you should know, and that is, over the past two years, deep down inside, in a very dark corner of my soul, my world came crumbling down, much like the image before you. I went to so many weddings this year and was very fortunate to see my friends proclaim their love for one another to all their friends and family. But there is me, standing somewhere in the back, feeling empty inside. Feeling trapped. Feeling stagnant. Feeling alone.
Despite the dark landscape I’ve just painted, need not to worry because it isn’t as alarming at I make it out to be. You see, I had been with someone for four years and I had thought to myself, “Hey, I think this girl is it. She’s the one and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her and tell everyone that she’s my best friend.” I was so ready to move on in life, do what my friends did by proclaiming my love to her, move out, buy our own place, go furniture shopping, travelling, cook for one another and maybe even have our own children together one day.
But none of this happened. It didn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. My world came crumbling down. And before I knew it, my intuition failed me as I knew from the start of our relationship that we were in it together for the wrong reasons. How it even all happened is another story in itself. I was so mad at myself to let it drag on and I somehow convinced myself that everything is fine and there’s nothing wrong. I denied everything, pushed my friends and family aside, and bent over backwards to make this girl happy. But where and when did I ever put my happiness forward? By putting hers before mine? And to give up a piece of me and who I am and my friends for this one person? And was it even for the right reasons? I ask myself this today and the short answer is no!
I should make it very clear that I am not mad at her, but more so mad at myself. Despite how disappointed I am at myself, I have no regrets because life is about making mistakes, and learning from them. Because that’s how you grow and that’s how you move on in life, and achieve your goals. I could have been driving a Porsche four years ago, and I very well could have traveled so many more countries but I didn’t do it. I should have, could have, and would have, but didn’t. So moving forward, it’s me first.
The most bizarre discovery since our relationship ended nearly two years ago is what I look for in a partner and I can confidently tell you it isn’t someone who was raised here. Little things such as social ideals, gender equality, pride, ego, authority and tradition all clash. I’ve come to realize that I would much prefer a partner who shares traditional social and cultural values. Because tradition is proven to work despite its flaws. It’s only because we North Americans and Western ideals have to nit pick at every little detail, tradition becomes a problem so one cannot always have it all like the spoiled little bitches we are. Happy wife = Happy life? Fuck that shit, I say. No one should ever follow this evil formula – it’s a recipe for self destruction and disaster. One must be happy first in order to make others happy!
This is not to say that I want a domesticated Asian house wife, but maybe one who isn’t so wild who seeks a thrill at the club every weekend and just digs in to her food without inviting friends and family to start first. By no means am I a misogynist. I simply prefer balance and order in my life. Anything beyond that, my mind gets out of control and I start doing stupid shit only to regret it later.
So all you pretty ladies out there, I implore you to decide for yourself what the fuck you want because I know what I want and which direction I want to go in life. If hopping into my car headed to LA for some hipster espresso, cheap tacos and In’n’Out Burger sounds appealing to you, come join me for the ride because I assure you, there will be no dull moments and I sure as hell don’t have time for any pretentious bullshit neither.