As A Matter Of Fact

2014 nears an end and December is just minutes away as I type this post. It’s been a rough month with plenty of ups and downs with an emphasis of cluster fucks and disparity. The snow fell this past week and it seriously sucked, only for a cold snap to follow with frozen roads and sidewalks, further setting back my hunger to ride.

I resurrected my old PowerMac G4 the other day to do a back up of some old photos I had stored onto the darn thing. I managed to save them all and had them uploaded to my PC. Taking the time to carefully go through them all, they sure brought back a lot of memories, stemming as far back as my high school days in grade 12 and my collage years.

All these photos were a flashback of all the random stupidity I had partaken and offered a glimpse of how my decisions and actions have influenced the outcome of who I am today. Moreso, these photos reminded me of the people who have come and gone in my life and also a reminded of those who mattered then, now, and perhaps later in the future. In order for us to grow, we sometimes need to let go of the past no matter how painful it can be.

Here’s a flashback from my earlier days on Revscene.net. I managed to capture this screenshoot back when fuzebox was an administrator and had installed this skin as a gag to poke fun of Gloria (cbcgurl82.) A lot of the youngsters won’t remember this nor get the joke so it really is of no concern to them.
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Some work shit I had to deal with.
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Finally, after a long summer, I decided it was time to get my posters framed. I got one of a classic Masi steel framed bike with the text “The Italians Are Coming from veloposters.com and the one Jonathan got me from Deus Customs in Venice. I went to see Audrey Nishi at Master Framers on Main to get the job done. It was a very fun experience going through the framing process with Audrey and I had learned a lot in the process. From the imperfections of the silk screening process, the half embossing, to the unique and distinct markings of what I had presented to her. If you have any posters or nick-nacks you want framed, I would suggest you see Audrey. Her prices aren’t cheap but she does amazing work. Super nice and friendly and now I’ve got a story to back these posters up!
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And to boot, there’s a video of the Luftgekühlt event! Song in the video is by Alt-J – Left Hand Free

Luftgekühlt: A Porsche Love-In at Deus Ex Machina from Noah Abrams Studio on Vimeo.

As the famous Magnus Walker boldly claims – “It doesn’t matter if you speak English, German, or Japanese. We all share the same passion for the car.” People coming from all walks of life, races, backgrounds, and circumstances. It’s the Porsche, the history, the motorcycles, and the culture that brings them together. That’s what I love so much about Deus and Porsche. You’ve got it all and everyone is just cool about it. You don’t have to be rich to own a Porsche. You just have to be smart.

    As A Matter Of Fact

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There’s something you should know, and that is, over the past two years, deep down inside, in a very dark corner of my soul, my world came crumbling down, much like the image before you. I went to so many weddings this year and was very fortunate to see my friends proclaim their love for one another to all their friends and family. But there is me, standing somewhere in the back, feeling empty inside. Feeling trapped. Feeling stagnant. Feeling alone.

Despite the dark landscape I’ve just painted, need not to worry because it isn’t as alarming at I make it out to be. You see, I had been with someone for four years and I had thought to myself, “Hey, I think this girl is it. She’s the one and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her and tell everyone that she’s my best friend.” I was so ready to move on in life, do what my friends did by proclaiming my love to her, move out, buy our own place, go furniture shopping, travelling, cook for one another and maybe even have our own children together one day.

But none of this happened. It didn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. My world came crumbling down. And before I knew it, my intuition failed me as I knew from the start of our relationship that we were in it together for the wrong reasons. How it even all happened is another story in itself. I was so mad at myself to let it drag on and I somehow convinced myself that everything is fine and there’s nothing wrong. I denied everything, pushed my friends and family aside, and bent over backwards to make this girl happy. But where and when did I ever put my happiness forward? By putting hers before mine? And to give up a piece of me and who I am and my friends for this one person? And was it even for the right reasons? I ask myself this today and the short answer is no!

I should make it very clear that I am not mad at her, but more so mad at myself. Despite how disappointed I am at myself, I have no regrets because life is about making mistakes, and learning from them. Because that’s how you grow and that’s how you move on in life, and achieve your goals. I could have been driving a Porsche four years ago, and I very well could have traveled so many more countries but I didn’t do it. I should have, could have, and would have, but didn’t. So moving forward, it’s me first.

The most bizarre discovery since our relationship ended nearly two years ago is what I look for in a partner and I can confidently tell you it isn’t someone who was raised here. Little things such as social ideals, gender equality, pride, ego, authority and tradition all clash. I’ve come to realize that I would much prefer a partner who shares traditional social and cultural values. Because tradition is proven to work despite its flaws. It’s only because we North Americans and Western ideals have to nit pick at every little detail, tradition becomes a problem so one cannot always have it all like the spoiled little bitches we are. Happy wife = Happy life? Fuck that shit, I say. No one should ever follow this evil formula – it’s a recipe for self destruction and disaster. One must be happy first in order to make others happy!

This is not to say that I want a domesticated Asian house wife, but maybe one who isn’t so wild who seeks a thrill at the club every weekend and just digs in to her food without inviting friends and family to start first. By no means am I a misogynist. I simply prefer balance and order in my life. Anything beyond that, my mind gets out of control and I start doing stupid shit only to regret it later.

So all you pretty ladies out there, I implore you to decide for yourself what the fuck you want because I know what I want and which direction I want to go in life. If hopping into my car headed to LA for some hipster espresso, cheap tacos and In’n’Out Burger sounds appealing to you, come join me for the ride because I assure you, there will be no dull moments and I sure as hell don’t have time for any pretentious bullshit neither.

When Times Are Tough

The past week at work has been hell. Projects of all sorts, unprecedented time lines, and a gong show of people who aren’t sure of what to do. But that’s over and here goes a new week full of challenges.

I felt suffocated with the amount of work and the inability to call the shots (beyond my control.) On top of that, there were days where I doubted my future at this company and industry altogether. Hit after hit, I just wanted to call it quits and give up. But to do that when times are tough? That’s just cracking under pressure.

I have never been one to give up and to take the easy way out. There’s a part of me that is silently stubborn where I will plow through the tough times because after all, I would not be where I am today for I live for ambition and success. The most reassuring part was when a colleague had re-affirmed my success in which he believed it was a real privilege for me to be able to take care of my family. And yes, he’s correct. I made choices and decisions in life that would have otherwise changed the outcome of this post. For I had only thought for myself, the pains and grief would have been on the onus of my family, and further into life, all on me.

There are obviously people out there who are much more fortunate than I am, and compared to a lot of other people. Whether they realize this or not is another story and not for me to judge, but I certainly hope they do not take their place in life for granted. Otherwise, having to resort to childish antics, taking on the identity and ideals of others, thinking they’re clever? Think again. Think for yourself.

Friday was great. I was at first reluctant to head out after winning a ticket to the Motley Crue concert. I don’t care much for them but figured, hey, it’s the company suite – why not? Well, it was alright. The suite was catered with good food and drinks but the concert left something to be desired. I was surrounded by the cesspool of the Lower Mainland, aka Fraser Valley Trash. Gross.

After the concert, myself and two colleagues headed out to Gastown for drinks. It blows my mind that almost every establishment in Gastown charges a cover fee just to get a drink. Well fuck you because we ended up going to The Blacktail Florist for drinks and it was great. A Canadian-Chinese guy, an Austrian, and a Venezuelan all having a drink together, sharing our misery about work. But all in all, it was a great night and we managed to catch the last train, sea bus, and bus home to our respective families. Funny how life works out that way.

Saturday was a bit different. I went to pick up my clothes from the tailor and had a nice chat with the seamstress. I wanted to ask her to come out to the concert at The Imperial to see Mark Farina, but she was coming down with a cold, so maybe next time. I headed back east to stop by Tigers Drink House to see how the owners were doing. They did some work to the place and I think it looks great. The wife had agreed to do a pencil sketch of my Carrera re-issue so I look forward to that.

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Maybe one day, I’ll get to meet my Minnie Mouse.
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Later on that evening, I went out with Monte and Cindy to The Imperial to see Mark Farina for the second time this year. The crowd was pretty mellow but so was his set. Not that it was bad, but in comparison to his first gig from back in May, it was slightly disappointing. On the bright side, I finally got him to autograph my Mushroom Jazz Volume Six album!
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To my disappointment, Victoria did not work tonight.

And to end this post, I’m not sure if it’s a matter of disappointment or to chug forward, but I had to replace the over-pressure valve on the Silvia. It croaked a few weeks back and coincidentally, exactly two years ago from the day I replaced it and posted about it. Talk about creepy. I’m not sure how I feel about having to replace something so often, despite it only being two years, but it isn’t fun, nor is it easy, but it isn’t hard. Just time consuming and what I feel is unnecessary.

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I’ll have to decide later on what to do. Whether to upgrade the machine or to keep it for another while. Afterall, I do want to move on, but as with everything in life, we all have our own circumstances which dictate our lives, decisions, and the people around us.

What An Awful Week

Man, what an awful week this was. Contractor tells me his work permit expired and that he forgot to renew it, then tells me he’s being deported. Boss is away and I can’t do shit. New guy gets hired, only wanting to fix phones and work on switches and routers? And now Vision Vancouver wins the election? What the fuck man?!

This week’s only saving grace: Swapping winters over on the Corolla and finding out my rear are due for replacement (blessing in disguise.) Now I can look forward to new tires and alignment setup. That and some pizza at Don’t Argue! on Main and E. 16th and drinks at The Cascade.

The girls were pretty damn hot. Nice pic, Eddie.
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Weekend Indulgences

Friday was awesome. Had dinner with some friends at The Blacktail Florist. A friend of a friend joined us and she was amazing. So full of life and laughter. I hope to see her again.

Saturday followed by some chores to the tailor, EspressoTec, and then dinner at Los Cuervos for tacos, ending the evening over scotch, cigars, and, a bowl of instant noodles topped with cheese, all to be chased down with an ice cold can of Coke.

Good times.

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