A Disturbing Feeling…

July 31, 2007 by bcrdukes.

…I spent my day on a dump of an island - Vancouver Island - in Victoria and that shitbox of a Crown corporation - BC Ferries (Fuck You!) While we’re on that topic - here’s another Fuck You! to BC Ferries and you stupid douchebags who work there. I hope you all die or at least go on your pansy strikes. And if you do, I hope you end up realizing that you’re barely able to feed your 2 starving children, you bunch of inbred hicks! If you can’t tell already, I had a bad experience with a big fat ugly red neck bitch at the ferry terminal today but that’s a story for another time.

Anyways, I started to realize that I hated the Island. Things suck there. Nothing is exciting and you see the same ol’ shit over and over. Trees, bodies of water, ghetto people…whatever man. Same crap, just a different pile. Sure, it’s refreshing to see this but when you live and breath it, it gets to you. And today when I took the ferry home, something disturbing hit me. I never thought it would hit me but it did today and it fucking sucks. I finally understood the feeling of loneliness.

I don’t know what it was but after grabbing my dinner and siting down, I looked around me - married couples, young families, teenagers, siblings sitting together. Everybody, except for me, all alone, yapping and typing away on my Crackberry, shoving food down my throat, preparing reports and statistics for tommorrow, making appointments and shit…Fuck man. And then to top it all off, I remember a friend asking me, “You travel so much, Mike. Don’t you ever get lonely?” And I replied, “No way. I love it! No such thing as loneliness. Not me.” But boy, I was wrong. All it took was a reflection of that instance in my life and then *BAM!* - the feeling hit me for a quick second or two and that was it. I felt so shitty to the point where I’m actually bitter again and drained from my work. God damn it. It sucks. I was hoping the ferry would explode, crash, sink, whatever you can think of in a negative manner so it would take me with it. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. Bloody Christ, for crying out loud.

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